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When Life Doesn’t Work Out How You Want





At the time I was pregnant, my father was dying of cancer. I left a senior level administration job to venture into a business that failed. Then I applied as an administrator and did not get the job so I went and got my Ph.D.


Life as I planned it did not work out.


Instead, life is what happens when you live each day with hopes as well as dreams and the results are not what you had hoped for at all.


In fact, there is that saying that life happens when you are making other plans. Sometimes the “necessary learning detours” or lessons we learn in life help to set us up for success later. Furthermore, many of us fail our way to success by learning what not to do in order to get clear about what to do.


Essentially, life is bumpy, messy, complicated, layered, and wonderful all at the same time!

What do you do when life is not working out how you want?


Tip #1: Regroup and go back to the drawing board


If you are not getting the results you want, then you are missing something. Do not push down a road that has a dead end. Maybe you need to pause, do an emotional helicopter view over your life, and choose a different road?


Tip #2: Pause and ask what are you learning?


We cannot control disappointments, but we can learn from them. In every situation we can ask, what am I learning? What is this situation teaching me?


Tip #3: Remember there are many ways up the mountain


There are many paths to the top of the mountain. Just because one path is not working, does not mean that you cannot get to your final goal or destination. Sometimes we need to be creative in finding ways to make things work. Likely, you have resources or can see a solution if you think outside of the box, do an emotional helicopter view over the mountain to see the pathways, or pivot along the way. You need to be agile and dance on the mountain of dirt that life is giving you right now instead of being buried under it. Turn that dirt into fertilizer and grow amazing opportunities for yourself. Also, focus on “what is” happening and not on “what isn’t happening” because you are on that mountain and something is going right. With perspective, you can see clearly where you need to go in your goals!


About the Author:


With 24 years of counselling experience and extensive knowledge of psychology, Dr. Catherine Patterson-Sterling provides you with this toolbox of skills through youtube shorts, tiktoks, memes, blogs, and online resources. With a deep understanding of forensics, Dr. Patterson-Sterling can support you in understanding the motivations of other people while being able to manage office politics, narrcissists in your life, toxic relationships, stress pressures, and more.


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